Not to be Taken Seriously

Silent People

Sitting Still

Faces Blank
Eyes Screaming

Kind Darkness

Merciless Light

Shadows Grinning

Flickering Flame

Can't See

Won't See

Colorful Concoctions

Confusing Companions

Dangerous Doorways

Incorrect Reflections

Untimely accompaniments 

Foiled Futures

Puddles but

not of

Water Here

Never of

Water Here

Empty Houses

Porcelain Faces

Glass Eyes

Staring Alive

Static Sound

Fraying Fabrics

Fraying Ties

Pristine Teaset

On Display

Never used

Without Purpose

Life Unfulfilled

Leather-bound Journal

Half Consumed

Cut Short

Ink Drips

From Pen

Having Dropped

Instructions Followed

Orders Obeyed

Wishes Delayed

Coffin Buried

Dreams missed

Passed Away

Indirect Accusations

The Trusted

Found Lying

Not Shield 

But Shell

Four Gone

Her Fault

Her regret

Her Remorse

Ink Behind 

There Forever

Her Reminder 

Her recollection

Physical Bullets 

Pierce Skin

Verbal Bullets

Pierce Heart

Tests of Courage

Tests of Wisdom

Tests of Strength 

Tests of Endurance

Tests of Devotion

Tests of Creativity

Tests of Loyalty

Tests of Determination

Will They Stop?

They Never Stop

Thirteen Chapters

Thirteen Books

Thirteen very

Unfortunate Events

Word Forbidden

Still Said

Silly Rules

Simple Words

Supposedly Vulgar

No Value

Just Idea

Clock Tower

Bell Chimes

Empty Town

Lonely Sound

Material Possessions 

Hold Emotions

Only because

We Always

Let Them

Doll House

Fake House

 Fake Friends

Fake Emotions

Fake Creation

No Preparation

Real World

Real Problems

Grow Up

Faster Faster

Suport Pressure

Crumple Trying

Generation Failure

Listen Listen

Mad Rambling

Mad Woman

Why Pay Attention?

I'm Not meant to be Taken Seriously anyway

Where have my glasses gone?

Where have my glasses gone?

I swear I had them earlier!

I checked on the table 

I checked in my homework

I checked on the cat

I even checked Aunt Marian's hat!

I checked in the bathroom

I checked in the basement

I've looked in the closet, the dollhouse and my book bag

I checked in the dogs mouth

I checked on my dresser

I checked in my closet

I checked in fridge

I looked in the washing machine, the sink and the covers

I looked in the cushions

I looked in the yard

I looked in the potted plants

It Shouldn't Be This Hard!

I checked under the bed

 I checked all of my pockets

I checked my brother's room, the garden and even the attic!

Where In Tarnation Are These Darn Glasses?!

I looked in the drapes

 I looked in the lockers

I looked in the classrooms

I looked in the desks!

Wait, why are you laughing?

Oh Here They Are

They were on my head the whole time....

Looking for ... something ....

It's not in there, It's not in there, It's not in there

It's not in there, It's not in there, It's not in there, It's not in there

It's not in there, It's not in there, It's not in there 

It's not in... wait... no, never mind, not there either

It's not over there, It's not up there, It's not down there, It's not sitting here, I'd never put it there, It's not there, It's not in there, It's never been there,

Wait...

What am I looking for again?

Allegiant- 0-189 4-23-14 *SPOILERS*

     What's really interesting about Allegiant to me in comparison to the other two books in the series is that we actually get to see what caused the city and what is outside of it. How things are the same but different in how they are used, like O'hair airport isn't an airport it's a base for people studying other cities like Chicago, which are just experiments because of other things that have happened in the past, which I will get to a bit later. How everything is different and how Tris and Tobias and their friends who came with them outside of the wall don't know what an airplane or a ballroom or a hotel is rather interesting since things like that are so common in our time now, and I really think that Veronica Roth did a good job with that aspect of the world and how it works. As a writer myself I know that when you create a distopian world, or a fantasy world that is different from todays, you really need to think of the specifics and how things are run and worked; along with the kind of things they have and how they are used. It's also nice that she's used actual places instead of making them up so people who live in Illinois like us actually have a connection to said areas. It's also a lot easier for us to picture, and for people doing placement for movies. Not that I think they will continue with the series, it's just easier and more convenient for the directer or whoever is the one who places the shooting area. 

     Now the background of the world is rather interesting I think because it's rather realistic and something that I think scientists would actually study. Scientists wanted to try and eliminate genes that sort of cause negative traits like "cowardice, dishonesty, low intelligence—all the qualities, in other words, that ultimately contribute to a broken society." However when they did take away these genes over times, they found that other traits we need like compassion,  motivation, "or their ability to assert themselves." were lost as well. This is why they made communities like the one in Chicago, to see if eventually, generation after generation, the genes could repair. The people with fully repaired genes, or pure genes like Tris, are called Divergent. This is explained within about two pages, and it's probably my favorite part of the book so far. There has also been mention of a rebellion, called the Purity War which is what pushed them to making the experimental communities. If the communities prevailed and had a large population of Divergent like Chicago did before Jeanine massacre'd them, it was successful and they would go back into the rest of the population to pass of the pure genes and speed up the healing.

     In order to know if the experiments have worked, the people on the outside have access to the cameras and know every things that has happened. "They've been watching us." What Jeanine did, what Evelyn is doing, everything. Because though Chicago was the first one to work well with the faction system, (not all of the cities have it) they are rather reluctant to disband it due to what has recently happened with Jeanine hunting down the Divergent and Evelyn destroying the faction system entirely. I have yet to know if they actually will go in and take over, but so far I have a feeling that that will be the cross roads that splits the place in two. Tris and her friends wanting possibly them to stop  Evelyn and the experiment verses the people that don't think they need to interfere. but that's all I'm thinking, who knows what'll really happen. (People who've read it, technically) 

How can our futures possibly be bright?

At our age we are told by adults that we have bright futures, and to be honest, I don't quite agree. 

How can my future possibly be bright when equality is nowhere near existing?

How can my future possibly be bright when our leaders, who are supposed to make things better, are only holding us back and making things worse?

How can my future possibly be bright when the careers I want can hardly afford rent?

How can my future possibly be bright when minimum wage can barely pay for one person's meal?

How can my future possibly be bright when our education system favors the wealthy instead of helping the less fortunate?

How can my future possibly be bright when girls learn to keep their keys between their fingers wherever they go even  before they're young teens?

How can my future possibly be bright when people don't care enough to pay more taxes instead of healthcare, so that someone can afford life saving medicine?

How can my future possibly be bright when kids would rather go to the hospital than school?

How can my future possibly be bright when math shows me exactly how to calculate when to step into the road so I don't have to go there?

When being yourself may as well be illegal, with the penalty of death?

When you can't be taken seriously because "you're too young to understand" or "you don't know what your talking about"?

When they shut us down by saying "you have no experience, you point is invalid"?

When we look at ancient history roles in community and see just how far back we've gone?

I try to be optimistic but I can't help but ask myself these questions.

Will it get better or worse?

Why am I so used to it?

Did I do something wrong?

Are they listening or shutting me out?

When did I get used to the masks?

Whats the point? It won't matter later anyway.

Why don't I care anymore?

Why are we all still repeating history?

How can my future possibly be bright?

We kids Were Never Alright

We were never alright growing up in a place where we're scared to speak our minds in case someone older doesn't agree

we were never alright growing up in a place where sexism and objectifying is called advertisement and a joke

we were never alright growing up in a place where we'll never be taken seriously because of our age or our gender

we were never alright growing up in a place where loving who you love makes you over ten times more likely to be murdered and kicked out of house and home
we were never alright growing up in a place where the bodily ideals and standards are lethal and not meeting them are as well

we were never alright
we never have been
we never will be
these conditions you make for us to grow up in so corrupt
we learn from what we see
fear breeds fear
hate breeds hate
scorn breeds scorn
it's everywhere it's everything it is us

You Are

You are more than just human

you won the race before you were born

you are stardust and chemistry

you are a complex thought processor controlling a slab of meat and bone that will decay as you live on

you are study atoms in science when really when really you are a collection of atoms trying to understand themselves

Nerves and blood and cells tissue and thoughts and everything you are cannot be controlled by anyone but yourself

do what you want to they cannot stop you

love yourself though they say it's wrong

sometimes you have to think of others but sometimes you also have to think of yourself

Think of yourself 

love yourself

inflict no harm 

do what you wish

You won a race

you are stardust and atoms

you are self aware and you are wonderful no matter what

Insurgent Finished *Possible Spoilers* 4-10-14

• What emotions did you feel while you read? Give details from your reading

that made you feel that way.

Well I have a rather up and down relationship with distopian fiction at the moment.  Divergent I liked because it showed how the factions as a whole worked and how things were done. We got to see how it cascaded into anarchy after the first simulation. That I thought was interesting. But now we have to see what they do to fix everything and how none of this is over even though Jeanine is dead. It just goes on and on when it could just be a sort of cliffhanger like the movie; which wasn't made in a way that they could do the other two books. I have a feeling what this says about me is I like to see the downfall of a society, I just don't like watching the cleanup. You get attached to these characters and then they just die like that and your just sort of like seriously you just had to do that. 

Eventually you just form a thick emotional barrier that keeps you from actually getting emotionally attached to them. Then they die and your just like "oh okay that happened." Like when Al died in Divergent I was really upset. "I feel it with every thump of my heart. It's Al." But in Insurgent when Marleen died I just sort of took it as a fact. "But I can see Marleen's faint outline on the pavement." Once you've read through so many character deaths, it really just doesn't mean anything anymore to the person reading it. Then it just sort of  gives us a thick skin to death in general. 

In the actual story of Insurgent specifically when Tris decided to sacrifice herself because she's divergent to stop the simulation suicides, she lied to Tobias. This I was not okay with at all. They easily could have just gone together, or once they had made a plan they would include busting her out when they infiltrated the Erudite systems. My complaint is mostly that there were much better ways for her to go about surrendering herself that wouldn't have hindered her relationship with Tobias. "I will not let Tobias go to Erudite when it happens again, when someone else dies."

Scarves

Living life is like knitting a scarf
Every decision is a stitch
Every mistake is a hole
Sometimes you can fix the hole
Sometimes they go unnoticed
When they are observed you get embarrassed
and when they are not you are fine

Some peoples scarves are longer than others
Some peoples get cut short
Some are colorful
Some are patterned
Some receive praise
Some receive scorn

Living life is like knitting a scarf
Everything can go wrong, but
does it really matter?

Ida

Little Ida Raven White tell me now what did you do
Death and destruction follow you like hounds
Effecting your loved ones like plague
You try to tell yourself it's not your fault
 it never was it just happens

It's not your fault you both fell down the stairs
It's not your fault she died

It's not your fault the monster killed her
It's not your fault she died

It's not your fault that they were devoured 
It's not your fault that they died

This way you try to think
it's not that effective, is it?
You still blame yourself for not doing something

Not splitting up
Not knowing more
Not arriving sooner

Your family doesn't talk to you
Only to each other
You keep to yourself and don't bother them
Staying secluded in your cabin
Thirteen is such an unlucky number
Perhaps your best off alone

Friend (Poet-to-Poet)

Friend who's company I've had for so long
Friend who's age is younger than mine, a fact so often overlooked
Friend who listens and laughs and jokes
Friend who's determination is looked upon in awe, knowing that I myself cannot take things as seriously as you
We who share food and stories and imagination

We who share families not of blood but of bond
We who will never fully leave one another's thoughts
We who will always be the greatest of friends

Insurgent- Pages 1-313 4-3-14

 Describe the major conflict. What side are you on?

     The Major conflict in this series is human nature. Jeanine Mathews, who is the main antagonist and the leader of the opposing movement, wants to make the factions pure as possible and get rid of people with divergence. People with divergence fit into more than one faction. In order to make everything work her way, she must get rid of them. On the other side of course, are the divergent people, the faction less and everyone who doesn't want Jeanine in control. This is the side our main character Tris, who is divergent and out POV, is on. 
"I shiver. the way he talks about getting out–it's like he thinks we're trapped."

    I, personally, have a feeling that I would be divergent mostly because I think I'd fit in pretty well in Amity, Erudite and/or Dauntless. They all have their own pro's and con's. Because of this I would definitely be on the side Tris is on. Even though Jeanine would be my enemy if I was a character in the book, I do still understand what she's trying to do. She just wants everything to be perfect and doesn't care about the lengths she has to go to in order to achieve her view of perfection. And while it is a twisted horrible process she does believe it will be worth it; and while I admire her determination, I still don't agree with her and her morals.
'"They each have an equal role in government; they each feel equally responsible. And it makes them care; it makes them kind. I think that's beautiful."

     Over all, I'm not really enjoying the book, I'm mostly just getting through it. Distopian/Utopian fiction isn't exactly my slice of cake; which it ironic because I'm writing one. It's just sort of dark and mellow and though there are some lighter parts it's just sort of depressing to see how whats going on is shaping the characters, Tris in particular. She nearly has a panic attack every time she holds a gun now because she had to shoot one of her best friends during the first simulation in Divergent. Though she's nearly over it now how realistic everything really sucks you in and you feel bad for her. None of this is her fault but so many people have dies because of her and on her hand. It's just sort of upsetting in general.