Freak Show

Gather 'round

Gather 'round

Adults and parents be warned!

 

Our show is not for the light of heart

the underage

or the premature

 

For every other year

 a very special circus

rolls into town

 

It's a freak show!

It's horrendous!

It's terrifying!

It's a treat!

 

Bring along the entire family

if you dare not

be discrete

 

We have horrors to behold

Gathered

just for you

 

Pulled right out of your nightmares!

From the devil's own imagination!

 

Disfiguration!

Pyrotechnics!

Telepathy!

The Deranged!

 

It's such fun

though be warned

 

You may never leave

 

Special visitors may be chosen

to join us up on stage!

 

Don't be discouraged

Don't be afraid

 

Eventually you won't care

you won't regret it either way

 

Gather 'round

Gather 'round

Adults and parents be warned!

 

We are not for the light of heart

the underage

or the premature

I Am A Person

I am a person

just trying to get along

to be every ones friend

singing the same song

 

I am a person

just beginning to see

the accidental evil

within you and me

 

I am a person

trying to make things right

to make a world I want to live in

not this god-awful sight

 

I am a person

just a person

plain to see

 

there isn't much a difference between you and me

 

Being just a person

not much can be done

 

But try to change peoples' opinions

 

However

is it the right one?

Unknown

Haiku's

Have a tendency

never

to make sense

 

Poetry

is just rhythm

spilling

off the page

 

Poetry

can have guidelines

depending

on who you are

 

Sometimes

 it flows freely

Ink

on paper dry

Respect _slam poem_

 

 

A discussion today

was overheard

It was foul

It was disgusting

I was ashamed

 

A parent to their child

An Adult to an Adult

they should hold some respect

don't you think?

 

RESPECT

is what gains trust

Not AUTHORITY through AGE  or BIRTH

 

Not AUTHORITY through anything

 

Adults are left wondering

ironically scratching their heads as we tremble in rage and fear that though we are simply speaking our minds in a civil tone and matter that we will be reprimanded with violence for speaking out of turn though we are equals

or should be

 

Adults are left wondering as we cower

why their children never ask for help when they are in trouble

 

Why their children confide in stranger they have never before met in person

only over electronic waves in the glow of "poison" screens

instead of them

 

Why their children are so secretive about their life outside of the home

 

Why whenever someone else gets yelled at

or someone raises their voice ever so slightly

they tear up involuntarily and start to feel sick

 

We are our own people

We deserve RESPECT

 

We have our own opinions

let us speak them CALMLY

 

We have PRIVACY

knock loudly and do not enter unless explicitly told that you may

 

You May point Out A Flaw but Do not FORCE Unwanted And Expressedly Denied "Help" Upon Us

when you will do nothing but yell and interrupt when we try to explain that we have dealt with and fixed the issue ourselves already

 

Speak to us like adults

Treat us like adults

We may always be your children but we are building our own lives

Don't force yours upon us

we've lived with it for more than a decade

 We'd Like To Move On



The Runnaway King, AscentionTrillogy book two 0-122 7-24-14 *spoilers*

   So here we continue the drama of "The False Prince." It continues about a week or two after the first book ends.  Jaron is still the slightly arrogant cunning sarcastic little thing I cannot say on here from the first book, so nothing has really changed there; which I'm glad because his character is really three dimensional and him as the POV character is the only thing getting me through this story.
And at the point where I stopped I'm not sure he'll be worth it.

So the book starts off at his family's funeral with the sentence
"I had arrived early for my own assassination."
Well then. That sure is one hell of a first sentence.

He isn't ever really at the funeral though, mind you, because all of the lesser nobility is there and it's really just an elaborate waste of time because no ones really and truly mourning.
Instead he goes to the garden and climbs the wall to get rid of some energy and take his mind off of things. Like how the neighboring Kingdom Avenia is threatening war and his regents refuse to believe him. This is when he see's a cloaked figure enter and go hid in the bushes with a knife. Proceeding this event is a fight where the person is revealed to be Roden, a boy from the last book, who still refuses to believe that Jaron is in fact Jaron and was just in hiding as Sage. (I strongly suggest you go back and read my blogs about The False Prince if you want to actually know what's going on because I'm not going to bother summing up that one here for you when I've done it elsewhere) During this fight it is told that Pirates who are on Avenia's land are out to kill him because it is humiliating that they failed the job four years ago when they were hired to by Conner. After he gets knocked in the head he blacks out and wakes up when his attackers are gone. He has a cut on his arm and is soaking wet from falling into the fountain so he decides to don a cloak to hide that and listen to the service outside of one of the windows. There Imogen, once a servant girl who he befriended until he gave back her family's title of nobility, finds him and gives him a makeshift bandage from one of her skirt layers.
Previously it had been stated by Roden that they would target all of his loved ones. The only three people who are truly his friends, and the best one of them, is her. Which means, of course, that she is not safe now.  That realization sadly causes this to transpire....

     As much as I hated the thought of it, I knew it must be done. Imogen had to leave the court. Worse still, she had to want to be as far away from me as possible, so that nobody could ever suspect there was any benefit from harming her.
     My stomach twisted, as if the lies I was about to tell were knives pulled from my gut. I slowly shook my head and said,
"You're wring Imogen. We're not friends and never were. I only used your help to get back to the throne."
     She froze for a moment,unsure of wehether she had heard me correctly. "I don't understand-"
     "And you're using me to stay here at the castle. Where you don't belong."
     "That's not true!" Imogen stepped away with a look of sock as if I had just slapped her. Once she recovered, she said, "When you were Sage-"
     "I'm Jaron, not Sage." My lip curled as I added the worst thing I could think to say. "Did you really believe I could ever truly care about someone like you?"
     Imogen's struggle to contain her emotions was clear. That tore at me, but I did not, could not, flinch. She bowed to excuse her self and said, "I'll leave at dawn."
     "You'll leave at once. A carriage will be prepared to take you home."
     Shaking her head, she said, "If there's something you need to tell me-"
     I turned away from her, so as not to betray my own feelings. "I don't want you here. Gather your things and go."
     "I have nothing here." Imogen said. "I will leave just as I came."
    "As you wish."
     She left without looking back at me with her head held high. Watching her hide the pain I had just caused was worse than if she'd let it show. I had never been so cruel to anyone, and I hated myself for it. She would hate me as well, and I'd never be able to explain that sending her away with such indifference, even hostility, would save her life.
     A new sort of pain flared inside me, something different than I had ever felt before. If there was ever someone I could one day give my heart to, I had just sent her away from my life forever.

To be completely honest I'm really not as mad about this as I could be. It's a perfectly understandable thing to do. If he had told her why she just needed to go away from him for her own protection, people would know she just left out of the blue. She needs to hate him and it needs to be authentic. If he had told her the circumstances it wouldn't be. Also there will be word around the staff and such about what happened above so the Pirates will think she isn't a weak spot. Which is smart thinking, although it does not make up for what will come later.
This will be a two part post so it isn't dreadfully long so look for part two in a couple of days or hours or when I next feel productive.

sb3- The False Prince.- Jennifer A. Neilsen -Finished-

This book is great. It is a bit on the darker subject of things, but the POV Character Sage is witty sarcastic and cunning which really drives the story.
The idea is, A kingdom is on the brink of civil war, and the royal family has been murdered. A the bout four years ago however, youngest son Jaron's ship was attacked by pirates when he was off to go to a foreign school. In order to bring the kingdom back together, one of the late King's Regents, a nobleman named Conner, buys four orphan boys in order to train them in two weeks to effectively impersonate Jaron before the one of the other Regents takes the crown and pushes everything down the sink.

Treason. Lovely.

From here on there will be spoilers so if you want to read the book feel free to just stop here.

The irony in the story is, the POV character Sage, who wins the contest and is chosen to be the one out of the three of them (the fourth gets killed off like 24 pages in as an example so the others won't run away) is actually Prince Jaron. Before the ship had actually set off, he had snuck off the ship through the porthole in his bunk, so he wasn't even on the ship to begin with! His father found him and told him to stay hidden, probably expecting something to happen where he'd need to step up to the throne. When they parted for the last time he gave him a stone of fools gold, and gave his highest Regent a note saying if a boy claims to be Prince Jaron, and gives you fools gold saying it's real, it is him; or something along those lines. That's a rough draft of what happens, I left out quite a bit so there's still quite a lot to the story if you read all of this and would like to read the other two books. You'll still need to read the first one.

 

The Sixty-Eight Rooms sb2 *Spoilers*

Okay, so I've already done the basics of the story without revealing any of the stuff you would rather learn as you read it for the courtesy of people who do want to read it themselves; now It's time to continue to what I really liked about the book, with the spoilers for the people who don't want to read it.

I'm going to start with this right off the bat. So you know how there's backdrops for the outsides of the rooms? Well, when Ruthie and jack shrink down, they aren't backdrops anymore. They're actually back in time! Which was actually rather stressful for me reading it because the two historical times they went to (in proper clothing they found) were barely pre-revolutionary France, and a town near Salem Massachusetts during the summer of the Witch Trials.

Oh yeah because those are just such safe places to be in when your practically time travelers who know barely enough history about the time you're in to not be hanged or arrested under some kind of suspicion. Seriously I get that the two of you are sixth graders but think about how dangerous the time period your going into is! Preferably before it's too late!

Anyway they get out fine and the two people they meet live through the historical problems so all is well.

Also two other plot lines are: Jack and his mom almost loosing their loft because she can't sell her paintings in time (solved by commissioning a huge mural in the school that will pay her off for a bit before her next fair thing she can sell at) and Mr. Bell's lost photo album. (Found in one of the miniature rooms. His daughter had found the key when she was about seven or eight and brought it there to look at after her mom died. Now he will show his photographs at the museum since the ones in that album were his favorite, of his family.)

I just really liked this book. It's apparently a series too, because there was one plot hole at the very end when Ruthie was given a fancy antique handbag by the lady at the antiques shop, who is a family friend, that gives her the same warm feeling the key did before it did it's magic. I guess I'll have to find out later!

Summer Blog 1- The Sixty-Eight Rooms finished *No spoiler eddition*

 Basic Idea of plot

No Spoilers

     Okay so the scene is set in Chicago present day where two best friends Ruthie and Jack are on a six-grade field trip to the Art Museum. After they see the exhibit that relates to the section they are on in history class about Africa,  they go in the Thorne Rooms, which are sixty-eight miniature rooms that are to perfect scale and based in parts of history like pre-revolutionary France, Colonial America, Medieval Europe, and Japan in a point of time that is in the significant past as I

understood, (At least from our time now, it could have been modern when it was made) but not elaborated on. 

      While looking at the rooms, which Ruthie is enchanted by, Jack's mom, who is a chaperone, chats with the security guard Mr. Bell. They are given access to see the corridor behind the strip of European rooms, where maintenance is done and the rooms are back lighted from. When Jack goes in, he finds a Key. A fancy old skeleton key, with the initials CM carved into it. 

     On the way home, he shows it to Ruthie and they decide to go back in order to put it where it had been found, in case it was important. They get back into the corridor, thanks to Mr. Bell. Ruthie takes it, and shockingly begins to shrink until she  is about five inches tall. Once they realize there aren't any ill-effects to the magic, Jack deposits her into one of her favourite rooms from the day before, E17, a sixteenth century French bedroom. All of the rooms seem to be connected from what I understand by how they move about,but I'm not quite sure... perhaps the tables the back parts in the corridor are all one thing and you can just walk for a bit and then get to another. Anyway, once she's done with E17 and there's still a break in the crowed, she goes to E12, an English Drawing Room from the 1800's, and finds out that the instruments like the Harpsichord and the Violin in the room are fully functioning. Out of tune, but real.  

     The rest of the story follows their adventures in the corridor at night, the findings of something lost for Mr.Bell, and worrying about whether or not Jack and his mom will get kicked out of their lot because artists cannot always sell their paintings when they need to.

Picture of E17

Pride and Prejudice page 0-48 4-14-14

 What was going through your mind as you read?

Oh yes. It's time for this one again.
Like last time these won't really be in any particular order but before we get to that lets throw in some context of what I can sort of tell is going on at the moment! (The style of writing is hard for me to read mostly because I can't always tell who's talking and forget who certain characters are it just happens. Perhaps the movie will be easier to comprehend.)

Okay so it follows the two main characters in the early 1820's or something (Thats when this was published so I'm just sort of going by that) Jane and Elizabeth, the oldest two of five sisters. Jane is the eldest, Lizzie the second eldest. Anyway in that time as a woman mostly what you have to worry about is marrying a nice young man with a good amount of money/income who is "well bred" and over all charming. There's word of such a man of the name Bingley who they meet and become acquainted with. Apparently he fancies Jane since he danced with her more than once and I've seen the Masterpiece Theatre version (My mom has it on cd) and though it's been a while I do know who gets with who as far as Jane and Lizzie go.
Along with Mr. Bingley is a handsome man Mr. Darcy who seems promising until he opens his mouth and makes it apparent that he's a total jerk who is full of himself and prideful in the sense that he is also extremely vain. There will have to be quite the character development with this one.... Anyway Jane is invited to visit the Bingley's and their mother thinks it's a good idea to have her ride her horse in the rain so she'll end up staying the night since she's all wet. She ends up getting sick. This causes Lizzie -aka Elizabeth and also Eliza which kind of confused me because as far as I am concerned they are three different names-  to walk like four miles there to help tend to her and give her company. This concludes the context because thats pretty much all you really need to know.

Okay this is more format-critique but seriously why is the first word on the next page always at the bottom of the page before it it's weird and I don't understand the point. Perhaps Jane wrote like that so she wouldn't forget what word went next! Perhaps it's  just the style of printing because as far as I can tell this was printed anywhere between the early 60's to the 70's so I guess it's possible.


"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a singe man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters."

Well that's some first sentence. I don't think I come across one like that since I tried to read "The Legend of Sleepy Hallow" By Washington Irving. Seriously. It takes up the entire first page. It's ridiculous. Anyway it's kind of interesting how competitive marriage was.


"Mr. Darcy danced only once with Mrs. Hurst and once with Mrs. Bingley , declined being introduced to any other lay, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party. His character was decided. He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world, and every body hoped that he would never come there again."

So many commas. So many. 
Also Darcy's a jerk. A vain, disagreeable jerk.


I think I'll do more like this next week.

Allegiant- Finished 5-12-14 *Spoilers*

Wow.

I'm just going to start off by saying, that ended way better than I expecting it to. I thought their plan would backfire completely to be honest, but then there'd probably be a fourth book. I am a bit upset that Tris died, but lets be realistic, she probably would have had some sort of horrible crippling illness for the rest of her life from the death serum anyway if she hadn't gotten shot.
"Also I know, I just know, I can survive this."

Something I really liked is that you get more character/relationship development for pretty much everyone. Peter in that scene with Tobias really kind of stuck out to me because he knows somethings wrong with him and he doesn't like it. It really sort of shows the reader more about him so he's not this plastic jerk who has no loyalties and only really cares about himself.(Though in the world he's in I don't blame him. He does have to look out for himself, and with people dying left and right why would you want to make friends? It wouldn't be worth loosing them.) It gave him a lot more depth I think.
"'I want the serum because I'm sick of being this way." he says. "I'm sick of doing bad things and liking it and then wondering whats wrong with me. I want it to be over. I want to start again."'

The relationship development I really liked was Tobias and Evelyn. I'm just so glad that he gets to have some sort of family still after everything since Tris died. I knew Marcus was a lost cause and that his relation ship with him was never going to be fixed, and to be honest if Evelyn hadn't agreed to the terms there wasn't enough pages left for something else to be figured out. Sure, there could be another battle and Tobias could have died as well -thus cutting everything short- but people wouldn't be happy with that. They would want to know what happened to everyone and if the mission was successful. Or the epilogue would be a third person and/or omniscient telling what happened after, but to be honest the ending it has is heartfelt and probably the best outcome there could have been for something like this. 
"I can't move. I can't speak. She chose me. She chose me."

Overall with the series... I didn't exactly enjoy it as much as a sort of tolerated it I guess you could say...? I liked the first and last books a lot better than the second, but the first is the best over all. I just think it's because of all of the stuff that happens in the second kind of bogs it down for me. It's just too depressing and serious with whats going on. It's like "Oh yay Jeanine's gone whoopee time to cele- oh great the EXACT SAME BAD KIND OF SITUATION THERE WAS BEFORE IN DIFFERENT CONTEXT HOW FREAKING LOVELY."
I mean props to Veronica it takes courage to write up a cliff hanger like that but... that doesn't really mean I as the reader have to be happy about it. As a writer it's just sort of giggling while imagining the look on your fandom's face when they have to wait another year or so for what happens next. Kind of like when you kill off a character or plan a horrible plot twist. It's just fun. Horrible, horrible, emotionally twisted fun; but fun nonetheless.

40 Book Challenge

     So far I've read 18 books, not counting longer books as two. I read two trilogies, three in class books, and seven others. I kind of stuck to the fiction/science fiction genera, but to be honest I really wasn't striving to meet the goal in the first place. I just really don't like it when people tell me what I have to read. If I'm reading for pleasure it should be something I want to read; not influenced or bounded by someone else's expectations or goals made for me. I'm just sort of stubborn like that, for better or worse.

     Although I did stick in one or two general genera's, I did read things I normally wouldn't have, though it wasn't because of the challenge. The Divergent series for example. Though I didn't particularly enjoy it, and wasn't going to read the rest of them until my mom read it and got the other two, there really wasn't any harm by doing it. Same for The Fault In Our Stars. I got them both for Christmas and I just sort of have this moral code where if you get a book as a present you kind of have to read it. However, unlike Divergent, I really did like TFIOS. Well, I did like Divergent actually, but the rest of the series just sort of put a damper on the whole thing.

     I don't really think that I've read anything all that different from sixth grade; I mean my level is pretty much the same, though I have matured more into the kind of books that are within said level. (It's about time...) I'm also really not sure if I've read more books or not because I hadn't figured out how to date when I finished them on goodreads. Also I was adding so many things I had read in the past. So over all I'm just really not sure the difference.

     Next year I have the feeling I'm just going to end up doing the same thing. Once again, I am a stubborn person, for better or worse. I may delve into some more authors and maybe an auto/biography or two or historical books written like "The Wordy Shipmates" or "The Charlatan" but if I do I won't be able to write a blog on them. I cannot assure you that they would be PG13.

(I commented on Marisa's, Julia's, and Gustavo's blogs.)

Allegiant 5-5-14

Okay so something I noticed about the antagonists, Jeanine and the Bureau, is that they're both trying to pretty much edit humanity. Jeanine was trying to stop Divergence, and the Bureau is trying to fix the GD and make Divergence. They're both over all going against human nature. However convoluted the propaganda making them believe what they are doing is proper, they think that when what they do is done humanity will be this perfect thing.

The Bureau people think that the only reason things are so bad is because of the GD. The think that Gp people are incapable of doing bad things. It's like if your GP you're this sort of all perfect whole being. Since the government hasn't told them, or everyones just forgot in general, that even GP personnel are extremely flawed, the project is of much importance to the people who are working on it. They don't really care about the well being of the GD's who live in the fringe. They don't try to help them by supplying them with protection or equal rights that are actually followed. They say that it'll be pointless to help them with food and shelter, when over all if they solve the GD problem it will benefit them more; which I don't quite understand. The people who are GD are going to be like that their whole lives. It's not something like a bone that can heal. Perhaps they aim to mix the GP's with the GD's once the experiments are successful so it'll heal over time, generation after generation? Maybe they aim to have people coupled, one person GP, the other GD, so that it'll have  a larger chance of spreading even more to the next generation.

To be honest I think that they themselves don't even know how they'll go about fixing things once the experiments prevailed. Perhaps Veronica knew that Tris and her group were going to cause it's downfall so she didn't need to think out the rest of it. To be honest, I don't really blame her for not really thinking it through much, it shows the reader how flawed the initial argument in the story actually was in the first place. Also if it wasn't going to actually work why put forth the effort? It's just more stress in opinion. Perhaps she got an idea but decided it wasn't really necessary. Perhaps there is a plan and I just missed it. Maybe I haven't gotten to the part where it's brought up and questioned at all.

I've kind of notices how with this book I'm focusing a lot more on the world than the characters and whats personally going on with them. To be honest I don't really like all of the emotional stuff that they're going through. It's just either upsetting or infuriating. -So totally not looking at that one thing Tobias did- Also, and I've mentioned this before though it's settled down since they got out of the city, so many people die. I kind of think that because of that I've emotionally detached myself from them so much that I don't even care much what happens to them anymore. Sure I was sort of upset when Tris and Tobias were about to break up but thats just kind of a wall that I kind of have in real life with kids our are age. In this case, the reason is one of them will just end up dead (I know already who does anyway) and that will be the end of that. The other will probably move on, and though there will always be a hole that can never be filled, they will still find someone else.  The other wall in real life is that they're so young it'll just end soon anyway. They were never even really even friends before. I just find it silly. In other words I've just kind of sabotaged myself for connecting to these characters at this point. I guess it has it's pro's and con's, but over all it won't go on so even if I hadn't broken that tie the story just ends, and it probably won't be a very good one either. 

Morals- an explanation of my short poetry, though not all of them have a reason

creepy corner of the attic

creepy corner smells odd

creepy corner feels off

creepy corner makes me sick

creepy corner remains empty

don't go near the creepy corner

creepy corner of the attic

Trust your instincts, if something feels off, there's a good reason.

closet door was closed before

now it's laying on the floor

the monster under my bed is gone

 the monster from my closet ate him

Some monsters are worse than others.

the clock said it was time for morning

the teapot said it was time for tea

the backyard said it was time for fun

the pair of shoes said it was time for a run

the chess pieces said it was time for a game

the cupboards said it was time for a snack

paper said it was time for work

pencil said it was time to dream

I say it's time to do things my own way

You don't have to do what people tell you it's time for. Sometimes you just have to pace yourself.

where did the butterfly go? 

it had wings of blue and grey

oh there it is

it's on the ground

at least it can't flutter away

Beauty can only truly be found after it has died.

that man just sits there

silent

unspoken

the other man is friendly

talks a lot and is funny

the friendly man grabbed a girl

the silent man chased him

Sometimes the quiet ones are who are the most helpful

Teddy Bear said Sally's scary

I think Sally's rather nice

Teddy Bear got rid of Sally

now we're both as cold as ice

Even the closest friends may not have good intentions

Silent People

Sitting Still

Faces Blank
Eyes Screaming

Just because someone is quiet does not mean they have nothing to say.

Kind Darkness

Merciless Light

Shadows Grinning

Flickering Flame

Can't See

Won't See

Sometimes it's best not to know.

Doll House

Fake House

 Fake Friends

Fake Emotions

Fake Creation

No Preparation

Real World

Real Problems

Grow Up

Faster Faster

Suport Pressure

Crumple Trying

Generation Failure

Let children play in their imagination, because if your force them to grow up they will not solve problems. Thus, "Generation Failure".

Listen Listen

Mad Rambling

Mad Woman

Why Pay Attention?

I'm Not meant to be Taken Seriously anyway

The craziest people tell the best stories.

Nameless- a collection

drip drop drip

the sink is dripping

black slimy drops collecting at the bottom

avoiding the drain as if knowing they will slip away

as if knowing they will slip away if they dare to approach

creepy corner of the attic

creepy corner smells odd

creepy corner feels off

creepy corner makes me sick

creepy corner remains empty

don't go near the creepy corner

creepy corner of the attic

closet door was closed before

now it's laying on the floor

the monster under my bed is gone

 the monster from my closet ate him

it's kind of wet here in the basement

kind of dingy

kind of damp

my socks are wet

my dress is wet

the key to the music box is wet

the key to the music box is sinking

the music box will play no more

the clock said it was time for morning

the teapot said it was time for tea

the backyard said it was time for fun

the pair of shoes said it was time for a run

the chess pieces said it was time for a game

the cupboards said it was time for a snack

paper said it was time for work

pencil said it was time to dream

I say it's time to do things my own way

where did the butterfly go? 

it had wings of blue and grey

oh there it is

it's on the ground

at least it can't flutter away

that man just sits there

silent

unspoken

the other man is friendly

talks a lot and is funny

the friendly man grabbed a girl

the silent man chased him

Teddy Bear said Sally's scary

I think Sally's rather nice

Teddy Bear got rid of Sally

now we're both as cold as ice

Lack Of

You tell me to do what makes me happy, but then yell at me when what I want to do isn’t what you want me too.

This so called “parenting” is nothing but a cage

I don’t want to go to school and learn formulas I’ll never need

I don’t want to go to the house and be lectured about how to run the family business

I don’t really know what I want to do

But I also don’t want it forced upon me

Kick me out if my lack of plans

my lack of drive

my lack of obedience

my lack of similarity to you

is the bane of your existence

I don’t care.

I’d gladly have nothing to do with you

Don’t act like you don’t think the same

I’ll be fine on my own and I’ll travel the world

I won’t have a care and I’ll study free

Just let me be

I found this today in a box full of dust

Just to let you know

Just to ease your mind

I turned out just fine

Sure, I lived fast and I died young but I did what I wanted and thats all that mattered to me in the end

You never really got the chance to understand, did you?

Of course not, you were to sheltered by what you wanted for me to see what I wanted for myself

I may not have been the best daughter

I may not have been the best mother

I may not have been the best at anything I did

but what matters is that I’m okay with that

You never agreed you never understood

I never told you things until much too late because they just never occurred to me.

Your granddaughter is proof enough of that

You tried to give me shame for my choices, but there are things that I just couldn’t tell you

things that you just needn't know

I have my reasons

and my lack of

But I did what I wanted and I’m happy with that

Allegiant- 4-30-14 189-315

• What emotions do you feel about your reading? Describe what is going on in

the reading that makes you feel that way.

     To be honest I'm mostly just kind of frustrated. Our characters just got away from an outright rebellion in the city and now their caught up in another one where they are now! I know that there has to be conflict, and there is believe me, but  it just seems sort of repetitive. It's rather reversed as well. This time instead of the Divergence being fought its the genetically impure. I think I talked about this in my last blog but I'll give an explanation of whats going on outside of the city incase you don't really know. Chicago, the city they came from, is an experiment made by the Bureau (Where O'hair is now) to fix the genetic impurity they made trying to rid human kind of genes that cause society to be worse. However this took away even more things like compassion that human need. The experiments made the genes heal over time, generation after generation until they are pure, or "Divergent".
"'So you believe it all? All the stuff about genetic damage being the cause of... this?'"

     There are other cities like Chicago as well, but some of them have been disbanded and concluded failures. Some of the people from those places come to work for the Bureau. The people who still have broken genes are thought less of, and pretty much blamed for all of humanities faults at this point. This is what causes the backlash with Nita, who bands together with people from the Fringe, the place between cities where it really isn't that safe, and Tobias since he technically isn't actually divergent. Her ploy is to steal all of the death serum from the Bureau, put it in aerosol cans, and pretty much massacre the entire place. But of course she won't tell him that, or he wouldn't have gone with it. She tells him that they're going for the memory serum so they can't reset the experiment in Chicago. Have everyone start over again. He takes Tris with him so that she can hear the plan too, but she doesn't join because she can tell Nita's lying. 
"'A lot of people got hurt," she says. "All because you dismissed what I said,"'

     When the attack is in motion we see it from Tris's point of view. (Oh did I mention that it switches from her to Tobias it's kinda neat just saying) The fringe people blow holes in the walls in several places as diversions. One of them Uriah was unfortunately close to, and as a result he's in a comma which has Christina freaking out. 
"'What? You've been spending a lot of time together." I say. "Like a lot." "You May not believe me, but it's not like that." 
Yeah sure whatever Christina the ship still sails.
After the attack is unsuccessful the people involved are arrested (Tobias you done fricked up) and since they are GD's are only given light punishment of some basic community service and some areas are now prohibited. Tris shot Nita in the side though so we don't actually know what her punishment will be yet. 

So yeah I'm pretty much just a bit frustrated. 

Not to be Taken Seriously

Silent People

Sitting Still

Faces Blank
Eyes Screaming

Kind Darkness

Merciless Light

Shadows Grinning

Flickering Flame

Can't See

Won't See

Colorful Concoctions

Confusing Companions

Dangerous Doorways

Incorrect Reflections

Untimely accompaniments 

Foiled Futures

Puddles but

not of

Water Here

Never of

Water Here

Empty Houses

Porcelain Faces

Glass Eyes

Staring Alive

Static Sound

Fraying Fabrics

Fraying Ties

Pristine Teaset

On Display

Never used

Without Purpose

Life Unfulfilled

Leather-bound Journal

Half Consumed

Cut Short

Ink Drips

From Pen

Having Dropped

Instructions Followed

Orders Obeyed

Wishes Delayed

Coffin Buried

Dreams missed

Passed Away

Indirect Accusations

The Trusted

Found Lying

Not Shield 

But Shell

Four Gone

Her Fault

Her regret

Her Remorse

Ink Behind 

There Forever

Her Reminder 

Her recollection

Physical Bullets 

Pierce Skin

Verbal Bullets

Pierce Heart

Tests of Courage

Tests of Wisdom

Tests of Strength 

Tests of Endurance

Tests of Devotion

Tests of Creativity

Tests of Loyalty

Tests of Determination

Will They Stop?

They Never Stop

Thirteen Chapters

Thirteen Books

Thirteen very

Unfortunate Events

Word Forbidden

Still Said

Silly Rules

Simple Words

Supposedly Vulgar

No Value

Just Idea

Clock Tower

Bell Chimes

Empty Town

Lonely Sound

Material Possessions 

Hold Emotions

Only because

We Always

Let Them

Doll House

Fake House

 Fake Friends

Fake Emotions

Fake Creation

No Preparation

Real World

Real Problems

Grow Up

Faster Faster

Suport Pressure

Crumple Trying

Generation Failure

Listen Listen

Mad Rambling

Mad Woman

Why Pay Attention?

I'm Not meant to be Taken Seriously anyway